Time to finish this.

I have 41 days left of school. That's it. 41 days left. After that I am given a piece of paper that qualifies me to take the most important test of my life so far. A test that I have gambled over $100,000 to take. It's amazing isn't it? The fact that I would gamble so much  money on a test that can give me as few as 75 question or as many as 265....and that after that I will have the ability to help sick people, hold the hands of the dying, reassure a mother that her child will be just fine, make an old man laugh as he attempts to flirt with the new nurse. Finding a job is a whole different ball game, but that will be it. The culmination of 3 long years of studying, dreaming about pituitary glands (yes, I did, they were pink and purple in my dream) and waking up in a panic because I didn't remember charting something (when in reality I did chart it, but in nursing school, you worry about it all!).

Three years of seeing really sick people and managing to get them to smile. Three years of seeing not so sick people and wondering, "What can I do for YOU?". Three years of tears, frustration, joy, fear, trepidation. It will all be over. In 41 days I can take that test. The test that will judge my worth as a student and as a potential nurse. In 41 days I will quake in fear sitting outside of one hospital or another wondering if this interview will be the one, will this one earn me my job? In 41 days I will second guess myself after every "Submit" button that will send my resume to complete strangers who will scrutinize me and judge whether or not I am worthy of the interview. (If you are that person judging me, please, call me for the interview. I swear, I will be great and I will be worth your time).

In 41 days, one part of my life will end, and another will begin. Expectations will be higher. The tears will be more. The joy, laughter and feelings of completeness will increase. The trepidation of the incoming patient will increase. The stakes will be raised. No longer can I say, "I'm a student" and have people give me the answer I can't figure out....in 41 days I will be expected to know the answers for the students that come behind me.

I can do it. I can add those letters "BSN, RN" after my name and know that I am doing them justice.

I can be all that I am expected to be, and more. I will be all that I am expected to be, and I will be more.

This is my husband

And I am proud to call him mine.

He works hard, sleeps very little and does all he can for us.

He may not fold the laundry right, or take the trash out when I want...but he does it when he doesn't have to, and that's all that matters! w

Coming to a close

So, nearly 3 years has come and gone and I am almost done with school. I've learned a lot about myself as well as nursing.

I've learned that I am smarter than I've given myself credit for. I have more compassion for people than I've thought I had in my entire body. I never thought in a million years I could be compassionate, but surprise I am. I've learned that marriage is really a partnership, and if you have a great partner like I do, they wont mind picking up your slack when you are beat.

This has been an awesome time of making friends, figuring out what I like and dislike in people, learning that more people are genuine than I thought.

Here's to the final four months of school, and a great career for the next 30 years!

Such a relaxing day!

So, today was chill day. Drove up to Santa Barbara with the family to visit an old friend, had lunch and meandered on our way home.

Stopped at the beach for about three minutes , it was freezing.

Drove back along the backroads, checking out fruit stands.

All in all, an awesome day!

Raising a strong child

As a strong woman, i pride myself on raising a strong daughter- one who doesnt take to female hysterics or is prone to over emotional reactions- i have seen the down fall to that this afternoon.

My daughter keeps a lot of the childhood drama to herself and attempts to shake off a lot of what is bothering her, until she cracks... last week when she got out of school, got into the car and broke down in tears asking to go to a new classroom. Apparently a child whose parents have been causing untold amounts of drama at the school has been on her own bitch crusade to make my daughters life a living hell. We did what any parent would do (after i called and raged at my husband for a good 40 minutes) and talked to the teacher about almost a years woth of problems and assured our daughter that the teacher would handle it, she just had to make sure to talk to the teacher when there was an issue.

We explained to our daughter that children often mimic the behavior that they see their mothers displaying and that she should have compassion for this bitch-child....and to make sure our daughter felt comfortable, yes, we got her a cellphone. I told her that under no circumstance is she to show the phone to anyone or use it at school unless there is a problem that the teacher is ignoring, fast forward to today. I got a text from my daughter telling me that the bitch-family was going to be in the classroom watching presentations and she didnt feel comfortable being in the room with them (bitch mom has approached my daughter and asked her questions regarding the drama that she has caused this year and i have told bitch-mom in no uncertain terms to stay the f***k away from my child)...my daughter had asked to be allowed to sit in the office and was told no, she has to listen to the presentations and learn (really? The presentations were on Mariah Carey...really??????)...so my daughter hightailed it to the bathroom and called me in hysterics while i was already on the way to the school to figure out what was happening- and i freaked.

All in all, my daughter is fine, we have a new classroom and I just saw the fat bitch mom leaving the school...I really have to wonder though, while some moms are teaching their daughters to try to be level headed and strong, why are other moms teaching their daughters to be bitches? Is that really necessary? This bitch-mom is the same mom who was calling parents all year crying about how her daughter has no friends and how her husband had an affair with a school volunteer (i know the volunteer, this was all made up in paranoid bitch-moms mind....but i wouldnt blame the no-balls-husband if he did cheat)...and she wonders why her daughter has no friends? Shocking. It really is...

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Photo of the day, day five....

Im a bit behind!

Anti-smoking documentary....

Wow...im watching the former mayor of New York, while sitting in a bar, condemn smoking. Last I checked one single drunk driver could, and HAS wiped out entire families....but I've never seen one smoker take out an innocent family simply driving next to them. I love how the anti-smoking commercials say that cigarettes are the ONLY product, when used as intended, will kill half of the users. Really? What about liver disease, drunk drivers, abused children? All of this is cause by ANOTHER product being used as directed.