Regarding all things, only understand that there must be no attachment. No attachment means that feelings of hate and love do not arise
Now from my readings of forums and books it's come to my understanding that many believe that Buddhism preaches dis-attachment from society and things. This is completely untrue. Buddhism teaches that unhealthy attachment is bad. By unhealthy it is my understanding that an absolute desire to own and posses is the bad attachment. For example, what is happening with my mother. Her unhealthy attachment to my daughter is what lead to her first suicide attempt---that is a bad attachment. It is ok to have an attachment and a love for someone, but when that love turns from the unselfish desire to protect and be with someone to the driving obsession to own and control that's when it gets bad. To love a child or a spouse is a good thing, as long as it is done in the right way. Love is a great emotion, but one has to realize that the love is just that love. It's not an arm of control or ownership, it's love. Unselfish love means letting someone do their own thing and still offering support and compassion to that person. By loving someone and not letting that love turn into an all encompassing attachment is the right way to love someone. The same goes for material possessions. It's ok to really like the TV you just bought, but when the "love" for your TV turns into an addiction and takes over your daily activities you have a huge problem and you just opened a huge gateway for suffering. When the desire to have the TV that everyone has, you have a problem. When the desire to own that TV (because you think it will make you happy, or your think it will make everyone like you) leads you to ignore your family in pursuit of the money to buy the TV you have created an unhealthy attachment for a material object and now you are suffering and so is your family.
Makes sense to me. Anyone else?
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