I need to start better planning dinner. I have to pat myself on the back because in the last 2 1/2 weeks the girl, the boy and I have only eaten out three or four times, which is awesome since we are used to eating out almost every freaking night...and it's saved us a TON of money since we aren't wasting it on groceries and then buying food at a restaurant.
Now, it's on to phase two! Plan plan plan plan! This way I can take stuff out first thing in the morning to thaw and have it all ready before lunch so that come dinner time I can't chicken out and get lazy and think "Oh, nothing is thawed...lets eat out"...cause that is how I get away with it, and I know it! I realize come 5 or 6 that there is nothing thawed and we eat out...BAD SASHA! LOL!
I have a recipe book called "4 Ingredients" that also includes a grocery list as well as a main dish and side dishes that are all included on the list...so I will try to plan one week of dinners and see how that runs up the grocery bill!
Wish me luck! I think we will go shopping Sunday and I'll post then how sky high the bill was and see if it works!
Friday, July 31, 2009
My Next Tattoo!
I have found what I want as my next tattoo! It's a Tibetan Buddhist Mantra...Om Mani Padme Hum. Here is what it means:
Gen Rinpoche, in his commentary on the Meaning of said:
"The mantra Om Mani Pädme Hum is easy to say yet quite powerful,
because it contains the essence of the entire teaching. When you say
the first syllable Om it is blessed to help you achieve perfection in the
practice of generosity, Ma helps perfect the practice of pure ethics,
and Ni helps achieve perfection in the practice of tolerance and
patience. Päd, the fourth syllable, helps to achieve perfection of perseverance, Me helps achieve perfection in the practice of concentration, and the final sixth syllable Hum helps achieve perfection in the practice of wisdom.
So in this way recitation of the mantra helps achieve perfection in the six practices from generosity to wisdom. The path of these six perfections is the path walked by all the Buddhas of the three times. What could then be more meaningful than to say the mantra and accomplish the six perfections?"
I like it. It's relatively easy to say and alarmingly relaxing to repeat.
Here is more information
"There is not a single aspect of the eighty-four thousand sections of the Buddha's teachings which is not contained in Avalokiteshvara's six syllable mantra "Om Mani Padme Hum", and as such the qualities of the "mani" are praised again and again in the Sutras and Tantras.... Whether happy or sad, if we take the "mani" as our refuge, Chenrezig will never forsake us, spontaneous devotion will arise in our minds and the Great Vehicle will effortlessly be realized."
Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
-- Heart Treasure of the Enlightened Ones
Found My Statue!!
I've been looking for a Buddah statue for a while now and either they weren't what I wanted, or they were way too expensive...and I finally found one today! Of all places, WalMart! LOL! How funny is that? It's an incense burner, but hey, why can't it just be a statue too? Instead of using it to burn incense I bought that little clay pot which is an oil diffuser...I don't like burning incense with the kids in the house because I don't like the smoke just sitting around and not doing anything...so this is a cross between both and works just fine for me! I'm so happy!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
My Reasons for My Choices.
I know I have been posting a lot of controversial things on face book about religion...mostly because I do love to stir the pot, but every now and then I really want answers, and I find that when I ask them nicely, no one answers, but when i do it in a way that will really stir up a fuss...I get my answers.
Since all this crap has been going on I have been really questioning. I have always questioned the existence of an all loving God...that I highly doubt...but now I am questioning the existence at all. Some days I am more content to sit and just let it be...and not question but not be a fervent believer either. I think I am now at a place where I am sure someone created us...who I don't know. I don't think that this creator is the Judeo-Christian God that I was taught about growing up..because it just doesn't fit. The Bible proclaims to be the inerrant word of god...but it just doesn't' fit. there are way too many contradictions and outright lies for that to fit. Now...would I believe that the Bible was the stories of people passed generation to generation until it was written? Sure! Of course! Many books are just that and they are very nicely written, bu we know what happens with the game of Operator..the phrase "Sally went shopping" somehow becomes "Sally is a really a guy"...and I believe that's what happened with the Bible.
Buddhism on the other hand explains so darn much. Life sucks because you make it suck. Or life is awesome because you make it that way. There are just common sense rules (That seems to me the Christians plagiarized)that make life easier, and since I've really been trying to remind my self of them every day and follow them, life has really been easier. No more agonizing about all the shit my mother is putting me through. No more worrying about where we will buy a house or when. No more worrying and stressing about money. You have to deal with what you have, realize that life is great because you have it. The compassion thing is what I love the most. For a while I was hating my mother and really wished she would go away and never return (and really wishing she had succeeded the last two times she threatened and attempted to kill herself)...however, I was reading one of Buddah's lessons and it was on loving your parents. No matter what, and no matter how horrible they are to you or ridiculous they are, they are your parents and you wouldn't exist, but for them. They are the reason you are alive...so you have to love your parents to love yourself...to hate the people or person that created you is to hate your own existance...so I had to learn right then and there to get over it. FIND A WAY to find SOMETHING to be compassionate for my mother...get over the hate and anger and hurt and betrayal...and I did it. I love my mother because I was made because of her. I love myself, therefore I have to love the person that created me. I feel compassion and empathy for her because she is pathetic. She is grasping at straws and there really aren't any straws to grasp. Since all of this crap has started I have watched her deteriorate in appearance and really, evil screws up a persons looks, so I have compassion because of the anger, hate and evil eating her up inside. I feel compassion for her because she is so lost and hateful...and I am now at peace with her. She has been using the desire for joint counseling as a tool and a control factor which I have been fighting, until now. I feel that it's a great idea as long as she pays for it. She needs me to help her understand that there is no longer a mother daughter relationship...it's as if a person has died (to use her own words)...and she has to learn to begin the mourning of that relationship...because I mourned the death of any hope of a normal mother/daughter relationship over 10 years ago and have moved on...but she needs that help, and as a Buddhist I think that will be my way of showing love and compassion--to help her along toward that grieving and getting over the loss road.
Christianity and praying never helped to love someone where I thought all the love was gone. Buddhism however has. Christianity has never answered questions for me such as---why do children suffer from cancer? Why do children die so young? where Buddhism has! Life just happens. And if you want the suffering to end, you have to do your best to end it!
Now---here's my reconciliation in regard to religion. I FIRMLY believe that there is SOMETHING that created the universe...I also FIRMLY believe that even though there are hundreds of religions...the nuts and bolts are ALL the same. I believe that whatever created life and the universe knew that with the individuality that people have, no one will EVER agree on one story...so there are many different paths, all with different lables and they all lead to the same place...now what that place is, I don't know. I think that all the end stories are just that, stories.No one knows what happens. Do I believe in the fires of hell? No. I think hell was devised by a religious government to further control the people. You don't listen to me...well then you are going to hell. I do believe that there is some validity in re-incarnation. Why should someone have 80-100 years to do the best they can, and that alone will decide where they spend their eternity? That doesn't sound right to me. I think that if you do good and you have a good heart I think you are rewarded with rest for a while until you are sent back to try to do some more good...and so on...if you are bad, I think you are immediately started over once you die so you can have a second, third...or however many chances. I don't think we remember our past lives because if you were bad...and you remember that in the new life, don't you think you will be a bit freaked out? And really feel guilty? What if the bad thing you did was because of some messed up hard wiring in your brain? Well, you shouldn't have to live with that guilt..so clean slate. If you were good...and you remember how easy it was to be good...well, that makes the second time around less valid...you have to relearn how to be good and overcome new temptations so that you can teach the new generation...after all, someone who was lets say around in 300BC...if they were good and they came back remembering all the stuff from 300 BC and it was now 1289AD...well, that would mess up a lot of stuff!
Anyway...I'm WAYYY oversimplifying stuff right now...I wanted to get the bulk of what was going on in my brain down here in this blog so that I could come back and elaborate on little bits and pieces as time goes on making it easier for me.
Since all this crap has been going on I have been really questioning. I have always questioned the existence of an all loving God...that I highly doubt...but now I am questioning the existence at all. Some days I am more content to sit and just let it be...and not question but not be a fervent believer either. I think I am now at a place where I am sure someone created us...who I don't know. I don't think that this creator is the Judeo-Christian God that I was taught about growing up..because it just doesn't fit. The Bible proclaims to be the inerrant word of god...but it just doesn't' fit. there are way too many contradictions and outright lies for that to fit. Now...would I believe that the Bible was the stories of people passed generation to generation until it was written? Sure! Of course! Many books are just that and they are very nicely written, bu we know what happens with the game of Operator..the phrase "Sally went shopping" somehow becomes "Sally is a really a guy"...and I believe that's what happened with the Bible.
Buddhism on the other hand explains so darn much. Life sucks because you make it suck. Or life is awesome because you make it that way. There are just common sense rules (That seems to me the Christians plagiarized)that make life easier, and since I've really been trying to remind my self of them every day and follow them, life has really been easier. No more agonizing about all the shit my mother is putting me through. No more worrying about where we will buy a house or when. No more worrying and stressing about money. You have to deal with what you have, realize that life is great because you have it. The compassion thing is what I love the most. For a while I was hating my mother and really wished she would go away and never return (and really wishing she had succeeded the last two times she threatened and attempted to kill herself)...however, I was reading one of Buddah's lessons and it was on loving your parents. No matter what, and no matter how horrible they are to you or ridiculous they are, they are your parents and you wouldn't exist, but for them. They are the reason you are alive...so you have to love your parents to love yourself...to hate the people or person that created you is to hate your own existance...so I had to learn right then and there to get over it. FIND A WAY to find SOMETHING to be compassionate for my mother...get over the hate and anger and hurt and betrayal...and I did it. I love my mother because I was made because of her. I love myself, therefore I have to love the person that created me. I feel compassion and empathy for her because she is pathetic. She is grasping at straws and there really aren't any straws to grasp. Since all of this crap has started I have watched her deteriorate in appearance and really, evil screws up a persons looks, so I have compassion because of the anger, hate and evil eating her up inside. I feel compassion for her because she is so lost and hateful...and I am now at peace with her. She has been using the desire for joint counseling as a tool and a control factor which I have been fighting, until now. I feel that it's a great idea as long as she pays for it. She needs me to help her understand that there is no longer a mother daughter relationship...it's as if a person has died (to use her own words)...and she has to learn to begin the mourning of that relationship...because I mourned the death of any hope of a normal mother/daughter relationship over 10 years ago and have moved on...but she needs that help, and as a Buddhist I think that will be my way of showing love and compassion--to help her along toward that grieving and getting over the loss road.
Christianity and praying never helped to love someone where I thought all the love was gone. Buddhism however has. Christianity has never answered questions for me such as---why do children suffer from cancer? Why do children die so young? where Buddhism has! Life just happens. And if you want the suffering to end, you have to do your best to end it!
Now---here's my reconciliation in regard to religion. I FIRMLY believe that there is SOMETHING that created the universe...I also FIRMLY believe that even though there are hundreds of religions...the nuts and bolts are ALL the same. I believe that whatever created life and the universe knew that with the individuality that people have, no one will EVER agree on one story...so there are many different paths, all with different lables and they all lead to the same place...now what that place is, I don't know. I think that all the end stories are just that, stories.No one knows what happens. Do I believe in the fires of hell? No. I think hell was devised by a religious government to further control the people. You don't listen to me...well then you are going to hell. I do believe that there is some validity in re-incarnation. Why should someone have 80-100 years to do the best they can, and that alone will decide where they spend their eternity? That doesn't sound right to me. I think that if you do good and you have a good heart I think you are rewarded with rest for a while until you are sent back to try to do some more good...and so on...if you are bad, I think you are immediately started over once you die so you can have a second, third...or however many chances. I don't think we remember our past lives because if you were bad...and you remember that in the new life, don't you think you will be a bit freaked out? And really feel guilty? What if the bad thing you did was because of some messed up hard wiring in your brain? Well, you shouldn't have to live with that guilt..so clean slate. If you were good...and you remember how easy it was to be good...well, that makes the second time around less valid...you have to relearn how to be good and overcome new temptations so that you can teach the new generation...after all, someone who was lets say around in 300BC...if they were good and they came back remembering all the stuff from 300 BC and it was now 1289AD...well, that would mess up a lot of stuff!
Anyway...I'm WAYYY oversimplifying stuff right now...I wanted to get the bulk of what was going on in my brain down here in this blog so that I could come back and elaborate on little bits and pieces as time goes on making it easier for me.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Getting older
I have never been comfortable with my body--EVER. And as I get older I realize that I have a great body! I know there is something wrong with my self-perception and I will chalk ALOT of it to my mother growing up. I remember being a teen and going to get dessert and she would often say "Should you be eating that" or "Do you think you really need that right now"...and that shit would HURT! No wonder when I look in the mirror I see fat. No wonder I hated my body for so damn long. Now however, I'm coming into my own. Am I the hottest girl on the block? Probably my block..but not the hottest on the street. However, I am now slowly coming into the realization that damn, I have two kids, I'm 27, my chest is a 32G and I wear a size 3 for crying out loud...I am a HOT MOMMA!!!! I have my husband to thank for that! No matter what my weight has been he has always told me I am gorgeous...he has always said how hot I am and he has really helped to boost my self-esteem. And since I've been learning more about Buddhism...that's helped alot too! After all...how can I practice compassion and love for all if I don't love myself?
Sons of Anarchy
Thanks to an awesome friend of mine I got to be an extra on Sons of Anarchy. Today was day one of the filming and we will be going back for day two on Thursday! I can't wait! Charlie was the nicest guy in the WORLD! So freaking nice! Here's a pic of us! YAY!!!!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Pics from Laguna Beach!
Vanessa and I have been TRYING to go to the beach all darn summer and we finally got to it today and I got to meet the wonderful Erica (or is it Erika?...)!!!! It turns out that it was also a day for some surf contest AND there was NASTY surf all up and down the coast...oh well, that wasn't gonna stop us! We were gonna go! We left the house at 11 to be at V's at 12...and should have had time to stop at Starbucks too...however, Starbucks was PACKED and we were 8 minutes late to Vanessa's...the first time in a year and a half I've been late! The horror! We finally managed to get to Erica's at about 130 and then were off to the beach! But what was this? There was NO PARKING all up and down Huntington!!!! All the parking lots were CLOSED and the traffic was going no faster than 20 miles an hour...so we crawled our way down to Laguna where they knew of a private beach, and let me tell you...this beach was worth the nearly 4 hour journey it took us! We finally got there at about 330 and it was AMAZING!!! The pictures do NOT do it ANY justice whatsoever! What a day for me to not bring the great expensive camera, huh???
I had to drag everyone off the beach after a few hours because I had to PEE!!! There were no bathrooms (seems to be a problem..I always find the beach with no bathroom!) and couldn't bring myself to pee in the water because there were so many people there...I swear, they all would have known what I was doing! Oh to be a boy and be able to pee anywhere! SO...started the three and a half hour journey home! LOL! Now...we are home and all showered and the dog is walked and it's already 10pm!!! It was a LONG day and was well worth it! Great friends, great kid, great beach...what a fantastic day...the only thing missing? The boy was with his dad...what a bummer! He would have LOVED this beach!
I had to drag everyone off the beach after a few hours because I had to PEE!!! There were no bathrooms (seems to be a problem..I always find the beach with no bathroom!) and couldn't bring myself to pee in the water because there were so many people there...I swear, they all would have known what I was doing! Oh to be a boy and be able to pee anywhere! SO...started the three and a half hour journey home! LOL! Now...we are home and all showered and the dog is walked and it's already 10pm!!! It was a LONG day and was well worth it! Great friends, great kid, great beach...what a fantastic day...the only thing missing? The boy was with his dad...what a bummer! He would have LOVED this beach!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Beach Trip again!
Yay! So we went to the beach again and had a freaking BLAST! Alex and Mick learned to boogie board...and because they were attached to something that can float, I guess I wasn't as paranoid! We had an awesome awesome time! Venice is GREAT!!!!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Today's Outing
Today was a day of relaxation! The gym in the morning, home for lunch, out to the park and then home for squirt guns...and again, I went crazy with the camera! It's easy to go nuts when you have kids like mine...how can I not take pics of them? The quote of the day? "Mom's the best cooker"...LOL. What can I say? When I do wanna cook, I do a darn great job!
On another note--that serial killer I blogged about? He's dead now apparently. He was trying to burglarize a home in North Carolina about 30 miles away from the town he was killing in and the cops were called. When they were talking to him, he apparently brandished a gun and was killed. He did shoot a cop in the foot...but that cop will be ok.
Here's more pics of what we did today! Enjoy!
On another note--that serial killer I blogged about? He's dead now apparently. He was trying to burglarize a home in North Carolina about 30 miles away from the town he was killing in and the cops were called. When they were talking to him, he apparently brandished a gun and was killed. He did shoot a cop in the foot...but that cop will be ok.
Here's more pics of what we did today! Enjoy!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
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